Pursuing Biblical Marriage…Taking Christianity Into the World

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Pursuing Biblical Marriage…Taking Christianity Into the World

Recently I was deeply saddened to learn about an impending divorce. It broke my heart and yet confirmed in my soul that God is good and that He is Good All the Time. Though all about you is toil and trouble, seek after His will for your life with all of your heart and soul and God will guide you through all that troubles you, lifting you up as you seek His will and grow in His name. Below you will find words of Truth, Comfort & Joy: 

Sadly and fortunately I have experienced much of what you are presently going through and believe that God will bring you through it, it you will lean on Him, be obedient, and listen to His prompting. What I am going to share next is not intended to give advice or to direct you in any way, but to share with you what I have learned. During my trials and tribulations I have watched God do much to grow and strengthen me. It is amazing to look back at God’s providence and what He was doing all along both to and through me. Though God’s word is quite clear, He hates divorce, frequently the application of questions and scenarios dampen our spirit, challenge our worth, and raise havoc with both our faith and vision. 

I did not know it at the time but God had something incredible in store for me and my life. God initially did not allow divorce in any form, but allowed us as frail humans to get a divorce in the event of infidelity or if our unbelieving spouse left. Though the time I was deeply saddened and even embarrassed by my divorce, God has led me through the down times and to and excellence in life and peace that can only be attained by faith in Him. 

Also I have learned that it is when we serve others especially The Lost, The Least and the Last that we can reign down God’s power in our lives. This past Thanksgiving we were able to serve the Homeless of Atlanta to which today, I received the below e-mail. God continues to be faithful as we are obedient to His prompting. I share this with you only to encourage you that the best way I have learned to heal is in and by my service to others. 

I want to thank you and your family for ALL that you have done and continue to do for the lost, the last and the least.  When I returned to our hotel room Thursday night, after a day of feasting and spending time with my extended family, I was touched by your daughter’s  post on Face-book that she had spent the day serving the homeless and that it would become her new Thanksgiving Day tradition.  We know that God touches all of our hearts, including the children through their parents whose hearts were first touched.  Happy holidays.  May God bless us, every one!  

I have learned that God, regardless of your life circumstance, has a great plan for you and your life. To discover His will for mine and to discover my God given destiny and to learn his will, I have to study the Bible by reading God’s word, fellowship with other Believers at church and socially, and to romance my Savior. By reading the Bible I have discovered what God says, not what I think it says, not what others say it says, but what God wants to tell me personally. There is no better way to learn God’s love than to spend time with Him. It is by our being a part of the Body of Christ and church attendance that we get strength, wisdom, support and encouragement to tackle life’s problems and challenges. 

It has been by our joint family service, that God has allowed me to begin becoming the man that He desires me to be. To do so, I have learned to die to self and to serve those to whom have been entrusted with my care. Also through missions I have watched as my church family became my true family as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ have reached out in love to me and me to them. As I have grown in the spirit I have also learned that God wants me not just to serve others on Mission Trips but throughout the year to all I come in contact with. We are all ordained, like Nehemiah in the Old Testament, to be Lay Ministers for the Glory of God and to lead others to support and encourage a Lost World and to be the Hands & Feet of Jesus Christ. 

We all sin. Though we are made in His Image, we all fall short of the Glory of God as He alone is perfect. Absent infidelity or abuse a spouse who loves God and seeks to obey His word will not leave a marriage, for if she had, she would not have left. However after she opted to leave, I began the process of moving on with my life. While we separated I believed it was my responsibility to be emotionally available, in the event of her desire to reconcile. To this end, I pursued counseling, a wedding encounter weekend, and many varied attempts to see what I might do to encourage that we stay married. I also joined a Divorce Recover Group at the best local church I could find, so that I might learn what I had contributed to my failed marriage and to surround and immerse myself with both Believers to whom I could both support and be encouraged. To this end, I know I pursued the truth with zeal and enthusiasm and I know that in my heart, that I did all that I could to focus on doing what I could to keep God in the center of my life and marriage. I still recall with great joy that it was during this time, that I was labeled a “Jesus Freak”, a title which I still enjoy and pursue more and more.  

Being Still 

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14 

In our human frailty we most often do exactly what is not needed. We strive to fix and address life issues in our own right. I have learned, through God’s grace, that my first charge in the face of adversity is to be still; for it is only by our inactivity are we able to see what God might have us do. During my time of stillness I have learned to look to the Heavens and to ask God, if he needs me; for I worship a God of great power who does not need me to affect His will. My main charge during trials and tribulations is to focus on first being obedient to His Word and to Be Still so that I might hear his voice, so that I might honor His prompting.  

When I finally learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was no hope for reconciliation I let my unbelieving spouse go, both emotionally and every way possible. It was at this time, that God met me lifting me up, carrying me when needed, and then safely depositing me on the other side of my trials and tribulations. God hates divorce, but He can use all things to His Glory. It was also during my divorce that I learned that I cannot make another happy, I cannot be responsible for what they do and I am truly only accountable to Him.  

Though I did not know it at the time, all the while that I was going through great pains, sufferings and growth there was yet another who was doing so as well. During this time I never met them, knew what they looked like or had any indication of who they were in the past or were in the process of becoming. It was only after I looked within myself challenging myself to be more like Him, to Seek Only His Will for both myself and for a mate, that did God allow me to meet Her. Though she is not perfect, she is much closer to it than I. Though she has failings, she has many, many more strengths. Though she could respond with what I deserve, she offers grace and compassion, just like my creator. I wonder where she learned it from. :0)) As she and I sought after Him with all of your heart and soul, we are now able to have a true God centered marriage with Him at the center.    

I believe it was only when God allowed me to get to the bottom of my rope, that He pulled me up, dusted me off, and set me high upon a rock to keep me safe and to watch out after my daily needs. By striving to live in Obedience to Him, I learned that He is always faithful and that I need to Worship, Grow and Serve to learn to be most like Him. Thought I fail often, the failings are not as futile or as devastating as I chose to Live for my Savior. My Friend, My Father. My God!!! 

Recently God has pulled me yet deeper still. I feel the romance of His love, the comfort of His Staff, and the Faithfulness of His Word. Recently my heart was filled to overflowing as I wrote theses words:

I Will Never Be the Same 

I will never be the same. I will tell all I see. I cannot go back. His way is my way.

I am forever His. We will always be together. I will live with Him forever in the Heavens.

I have seen the Light and He is good.  I have felt His presence. I know he looks after me through thick and thin.

I have felt His forgiveness. He has blessed by obedience. I have seen His strength. He is my DNA.

I have the power of the Holy Spirit. He lifts me up. I have felt His mercy. I have true inner peace.

I know His love. I am a part of the Body. I am unduly blessed. Words cannot express by joy.

I am uniquely His. He made me in His image. I have a destiny. I know where I am going.

I have read His Word. His words lift me up to higher heights. I have tested His truth. His words are timeless and His truth enduring.

I have touched His garment. I know what it is like to be in His presence. I will always persevere. No one can stop me.

I am an over comer. I can do all things in His name. I am saved. By faith alone. WOW.

I cannot be lost. He will never let anyone have me. No one can snatch me from His hand. I know where I am headed.

I know He is here. He has my “back” all the time, while still guiding my steps.

I know He is watching. He is making a way for me to follow. I know He is guiding. He has measured the distance and prepared my heart.

I am forever His. He promises me eternity and I have a mansion in Heaven. I cannot go back. Satan can go back to where he lives.

I will never be the same. 

John Dillard is an Christian Speaker/Author and Certified Public Accountant in Duluth, GA. To See how he takes Christ along with him to work visit http://www.hiscpa.com/ and for his latest book Overcoming Life’s 9/11’s: Job’s Journey and a Voice of One: Nehemiah’s Prayer visit http://www.john-dillard.com/ or call John Dillard CPA today at 770.814.9304 (All Rights Reserved) Dare to Attempt Something so Great for the Kingdom of God that it is doomed to failure, lest Christ be in it!  

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